Remembering Arayah One Year Later

One year ago today my life changed.  My precious Arayah Hope passed out of my arms, into the arms of Jesus.  I still feel crippled in some way, like I'm permanently maimed.  In this past year I have been learning how to function, how to live, as if I have a missing limb.  Sometimes the pain would be so heavy, I felt as if I could hardly breathe. Then there's the miracle. At the same time, I feel the peace of God strengthening me.  He has shown Himself mighty and strong on my behalf.  I am so thankful for my faith!  Through faith, I take every hurt, every tear, every feeling of despair, to my Heavenly Father.  He gently, and firmly carries me through.  Today, a year later, as I sweetly remember Arayah, I have hope, confidence and peace, that she is experiencing, joy, peace, happiness and rest.  And, though her Mama is still on earth, missing her, I too, have those same experiences.  God certainly keeps His promises!

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Matt 5:4

Wordless Wednesday

Coming Back

Welcome!

Dear faithful followers, thank you for bearing with me as "life" happened, and blogging was pushed to the side. I hope to once again open this line of communication with you, and start posting again!

Our dear daughter has come through the surgery successfully, with no long term hindrances. She is almost back to where she started, and the tumor was benign, so we are thankful to the Lord for seeing us safely through this.

While my daughter was in the hospital for 13 days, from the surgery, through inpatient therapy, I once again, started back into my fiber arts. I'd had little desire for it since Arayah's death, but now, I think I'm stabilizing more, finding a new "norm" in life without my little girl, and am back to seeking an outlet for my creativity.

In the hospital, I started and finished my first embroidery project. I loved embroidering. I mostly used the satin stitch, which I found very fun to do, and the back stitch. Here are the pictures of the two kitchen towels I did.


After completing them, I put the right sides together, sewed them up lengthwise, turned them inside out, pressed them really nice, and sent them to a dear, cat loving friend who was moving into a new house. She loved them! I want to do more embroidery, and filled my craft basket with lots of new projects, but, something happened on my birthday, Aug 9, the day before we left the hospital. I was bitten hard by the knitting bug again! I visited lots of local yarn shops with my birthday money, and acquired lots of luscious yarns!

Let's see, I'm working on the second sock, of a mate that I started back in Oct 2010, that I found at the bottom of my knitting basket.





I finished the baby blanket gift I had started back in June.

I completed an ipod cozy for myself,

a felted tote for my mom,

and am currently working on a sweater for my four year old,

and I'm also test knitting a little girl's sweater for a designer, that I will gift to a friend's four year old daughter. Whew! All that, and I decided to take some correspondence courses to improve my knitting skills. I'm starting with the basics, and am taking the Basics, Basics, Basics class offered through The Kntiing Guild Association. Eventually, I'm considering starting the Master Knitting Courses.

So, things are busy, busy, busy. School started back harvest is in I've not done as much canning as I wanted this year, but I did get some green beans canned, about 54 quarts of peaches, and applesauce is next on the list. I wanted to get some salsa done, but didn't get to that this year. I don't keep a garden personally, but obtain fruits and veggies from markets and friends.

I think in my last post I alluded to an addition to our household. Here he is.

Quincy is about one year old. He is a miniature schnauzer that we rescued on the fifth of July. He was already housebroken, knows basic obedience commands, and is pretty much a gentleman to be around. He was abandoned on a lady's porch, who is known to take in strays. After unsuccessfully trying to find his owners, she sought a new home for him, and this is where we came in.

Since then, another little rescue has entered our lives.

We acquired Bitty Kitty a few weeks ago. She was about 5 weeks old, and weighed a whopping 0.7lbs. We weren't sure she was going to make, and with a lot of TLC, and (antibiotics and from the vet), she's getting fat and sassy now. Her, and her three siblings were basically abandoned by their mom, at a friend's property. We were not looking for her, but someway the children talked me into it.

She's now snaked her way into our affections. Her and Quincy get along marvelously.

So, I hope to try to post at least twice a week. I'd like to make a post on Monday, detailing the fiber arts I'm currently working on, family life, and/or anything else that comes to mind, I will call this, "Make It Monday", and then I may just post random pictures on "Wordless Wednesday", and we'll go from there. I got idea for these themed days from another blog I enjoy visiting.

Well, I think this post has gotten lengthy enough. It will be good to reconnect again!

Thank you for visiting!

Update On My Life

Welcome!


I'm still here!  When I went to post this last blog post, I can't believe it's been five months since I've posted!  It's been a little over six months, since the passing of our precious little girl, and I can say all is well!  Yes, sometimes my grief is so heavy, I feel it will take my breath away.  Other times, I smile, at the joy I know she's experiencing.
We have had many changes in our lives.  We've joined a new church fellowship, that has been a rich blessing to us, we've had baptisms in our family, and a whole host of blessings from new friends and brothers and sisters in Christ in our lives.  There's a long story behind these miracles as well, maybe I will share them some time.



And yet, another chapter of our lives.  I had plans of planting my first "real" garden.  Though the soil here is not the best, we were going to do raised beds.  I love green beans.  And thought maybe some peppers, onions, and potatoes.  Not a lot for a first timer.  We had just spent a wonderful time at our church's annual meeting, the last weekend of May, and was attending a baptism the following Sunday, when my oldest daughter, who has never been really sick, fell over with a seizure.  After being tested a week later, the MRI scan, showed a brain tumor.  They suspect it may be malignant, by the way it looks.  Ironically, they can find no cause for her seizure, by the position of the tumor, they don't think it's what caused the seizure.  We are just very thankful she had it, or we wouldn't have known about the tumor until it was to late.

So, plans have changed, no garden this year, as we travel two hours back and forth to Cincinnati Children's Hospital for appoints and such.  Justice has surgery, this Thursday, July 28, to remove the tumor.  There are risks involved, but we are praying all will be well, and that the tumor will not be malignant.  There is a face book page set up here, that I will try to update with how things are progressing.


Still with all of this, our faith in God has carried us through each trial, His blessings are to many to recount here, and we have nothing to complain about.


As far as my needle arts.  I feel twinges of getting back into it.  I'm almost done with a baby blanket I was knitting for a new baby at church.  90-100 degree heat doesn't make blanket knitting real desirable.  I have about 20 minutes to go, but I've had those twenty minutes for about a couple of weeks!  

It's not as yellow as it looks.  The lighting makes it look pretty bright, but it's more of a primary color. I'm going to stick my "names of Jesus" cross stitching in my crafting bag to take to the hospital, and also another small project.  I'm thinking dishcloths, socks, bags, preemie hats, something.  My fingers are itching, I'm just not sure where to begin.


I have other things to tell, like about the new addition to our family, but this posts is getting long, so I will save that for another post.


Thank you for visiting!

What I'm Doing?

Welcome!

I want to thank everyone for your thoughts, prayers, cards, emails and words of sympathy during this time of the loss of my daughter. I know my Redeemer lives, and I know He does all things well! I trust His sovereign and holy will. I’m experiencing the pain of loss, but the peace of God as well!

I feel God’s strength this day! Blessed be the name of the Lord! I’m mourning, but the Lord has given me strength to resist feeling sorry for myself. I know our precious girl is in bliss. God is filling the huge void she’s left in our lives.

I wonder how she feels not having seizures anymore? I can’t wait to wrap my arms around her again. 

During this time of sorrow, He has been our Comforter. We’ve had an outpouring of support, and prayers, that have blessed us. Though my grief is great, the rivers of sorrow have not overflowed me, for He has been with me, blessing my trouble, and He has sanctified to me, this my deepest distress! All praise to Him!

We have been asked a lot of are the children doing. They are doing well. They seem to be handling it well. They went from the first week, not being able to talk about her, to now, talking and remembering her, fondly. They speak happily of the things she said and did.

I’m thankful for the hope we have in Christ, without it I would be most miserable. Do I miss her? Yes! Do I wish she didn’t have to leave? Yes! Would I call her back from heaven if I could? No!

Our loss was sudden, and I know some wonder how it happened.  Arayah had a seizure disorder.  She didn't start having seizures until she was five years old.  We had been to the doctor just the Tuesday before her passing, and they suggested that she may be a candidate for brain surgery.  They thought they could remove tissue from the part of the brain that the seizures were coming from.  This would have been a two part surgery with them opening her up twice within a week's span.  I agonized over the decision.  I didn't want her to go through the pain, and the risks of swelling and infection.  I prayed earnestly.  We reluctantly made the decision to at least go through the five day hospital stay in which she would have non-invasive tests, x-rays and screening to get a better idea of what they could do.  One thing the surgeon said before we left his office, was that Arayah would live a long life, 60-70 years or more, and the seizures would affect her cognitive abilities continually.

We found her dead on the bathroom floor three days later.  Apparently everytime Arayah had a seizure her lungs would retain fluid, unbeknown to us or the doctors.  Though it would dissipate after a seizure, there were sacs that still retained fluid.  You could not hear this on a stethescope, and could only see it with chest x-rays.  Though we frequently had her to the neurologist for eeg, etc.., no one thought of checking her chest.  So, on her last seizure, her lungs filled up with fluid, and could not empty out, she stopped breathing.  My 11 year old daughter heard her fall, but, cpr was unsuccessful.  That was another terrible ordeal, details here.

I have not been active in my handwork yet, (knitting, crocheting or cross stitching). I find this odd, as stitching is usually a comfort. I’m not sure where my head is at, or how I spend the extra time. I’ve been reading more, and just putting one foot in front of the other. I do plan to get back into stitching, and hopefully blogging again as well. I do understand people grieve in different ways, and it takes time.

Thank you all again for every prayer offered up on our behalf.

Here is a link to a slide my son put together from pictures of Arayah.  It's on Facebook, but I think everyone can see it, whether your in my contact list, (friends) , or not.  If you can't leave me a comment, and I'll see if I can post it on here.

Thank you for visiting!

Our Little Girl Is In Heaven!

Arayah Hope entered into our arms on March 13, 2001.

She entered into the eternal safety of Jesus arms on January 14, 2010. 

Arayah is survived by her parents Dianna and Clyde her brothers, Isaiah, Kishon, Silas and Simeon.  Sisters, Jurnie and Justice.  Her grandparents Nate (Karen) Ford, Diane (Raymond) Mueller, and Edna (Walter) Dennis.  She was preceded in death by her grandfather Herman Hudson Sr.

She will greatly be missed by a host of uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and family in Christ.

Arayah Hope truly was "a ray of hope" and joy to those who were blessed to have shared in her life. Arayah was affectionate and loving to everyone she met. She knew no strangers, greeting new friends and faces with her beautiful smile and ready hug. Arayah enjoyed playing with her siblings and friends, especially house and doll babies. She had a wonderful imagination, bringing us many smiles and laughter. She loved to give surprises to others, even if it was just

 continued to smile and shine through them. From her pretty pink helmet to the tips of her tennis shoes, she was a very precious soul we were blessed to be entrusted with for nine years. While we mourn our loss, we know that the One who perfectly formed and created her holds her in His arms in heaven.

Wordless Wednesday